Game Face

This evening is the Take Steps for Crohn’s and Colitis 2-miler. Thanks to my awesome family and friends I made my fundraising goal and blew right past that sucker, too! I will post what our little, unofficial team raises after the event. We girls are going to have a mess of fun. Laurie, Monica and Mom are too cool for taking steps for my guts and butt. Our official athletic supporter, Paul will be on the sidelines cheering for us.

Gross Out Alert: Crohn’s Disease is an insidious, painful and down right gross at times funfest. For those weak of stomach and those who do not take a shine to the icky talk: skip the next entry. To those who know what I am talking about or are curious as to what its like to be this part of me read on:

Here’s the gross: Speaking of my insides, we are on the outs. The chronic constipation, due to a stricture in my small intestine, has caused me years of misery and trouble. A stricture is a narrowing of the intestinal lining making it very difficult to process food through the tract. I don’t receive the proper nutrients from my foods or vitamins. I am constantly dehydrated, to the point of kidney stones and ER visits for a couple of ringers. Knock on wood; I have not been hospitalized for fluids in over a year. Knock-knock. For weeks now, I have had most of my pain in the left side, the sigmoid colon. Plus: spasms that would make Chuck Norris cry and these spasms aren’t as bad as they can get. At the GI doc this week I was ordered to intake 4, yes~ 4 times the normal, human dosage of Miralax every night and 2 Citrucel after meals. As an extra added bonus: a colonoscopy next Tuesday. I get one of those buggers every 3 years. It is my time. The doctor is going to have a look around to make sure everything is where he left it.

It’s safe now; the gross is over. For those who skipped: I have a colonoscopy on Tuesday.

I will share my results of the scope next week.

Game on! Let’s walk the walk and walk this way!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

It has been almost 12 weeks since I started feeling like poo. My Crohn's is still giving me a run for my money. Nothing like it did in '95 and '96 or like when my sick gallbladder and appendix went sour in '01. I have already lost 10 lbs this time 'round. Its the diet of champions! Feel like crap and lose weight! Be too miserable to wear skinny jeans, because they hurt! Why has this diet not caught on? I ask you. So, it is time for lemonade!

Not that I am going to consume lemonade, that might be a bad scene for my belly bone. I mean the whole lemons to lemonade thing. I will not give up, even though I feel awful. I am keeping my sense of humor, even if I have become something of a hermit. Yes, there are days when I assume the "question mark" position and spasms are worse than any menstrual cramp ever conceived. When the smell of my favorite foods and beverages send me running to the bathroom. It can be down right depressing. Do you know when I had my last cup of coffee? I don't even know! Even the smell of those beautiful, dark roasted beans grinding and pressing through our espresso machine makes me nauseous. So sad. OK, moving on to sunnier thoughts...

I will not give up my fight. I think back to last year's half-marathon training in the fabulous, AZ heat at 5am and how much my health improved. Over the course of the year I was able to widen the gap between Remicade infusions from 6 weeks to 8 weeks to 10 weeks. (My current episode has nothing to do with the frequency of infusions. Stress is the culprit.)

I got involved with TnT/LLS to "give back" for all the support they have provided for patients and families with blood cancers. My father may have lost his fight; but in the 28 years since, HUGE strides have been made. I am pushing myself harder this year and run/walking, not walk/running. That is a part of my bonus to myself: improved well-being and keeping my CD in its corner, where it belongs. I missed the first Team run this morning, due to my "stress factor". This year I am losing my step-dad. He has been in hospice since March 27th.

He is my major stress, it has been long journey for him. I am with him as much as I can be. I am supporting Mom as much as I can. They are 100 miles away and I make that drive almost every week. I hate seeing him this way. He is clear of mind, but his body has had enough. This year is going to be difficult, I know it. I am prepared for it. I acknowledge and embrace it. He is not dying from a blood cancer, but I am losing the man who has been my dad for 25 years. Many emotions are churned, demons are fought and tears are cried.

This year I run for life, life for all.
I dedicate this marathon to Jim, my dad.
I run in memory of Wayne, my daddy.
I run in honor of Alice, my friend and survivor.

Cheetah Run from Saturday, April 26, 2008

For most of the participants it was a run. I on the other hand did the Asthma-Attack for the Cheetah or the Hork Up a Lung for the Cheetah, two of the lesser known events, but always favorites. I felt like such a rock star after Nike. Today, not so much, but its ok. This was my kick off to summer training! "So, you feel like crap today, eh? Just you wait!" was something of my mantra today.
Thanks to my love of animals, I was not going to bow out of today's spatz around Papago Park at seven something this morning. It was encouraging parking my car next to a few IronMan competitors. (It reminded me of my friend, Elaine, who just completed IronMan for the first time this year and I quote, "Ironman sucks." As she crossed the finish line! But she made it all day swimming and cycling and running.) I was not going to sleep through the Run for the Cheetah, an itty-bitty-kitty 5K. It was a beautiful morning (minus the crap air) for a jog-walk-jog. I have no idea as to my time, I left before it was posted. And that was never that important. First, it was the cause. Second, I was getting out again. I bet I'll be feeling it tomorrow…

Crohn's Update from Sunday, April 27, 2008

Not to use this as an excuse for being anti-social, but I have been sick for the last 3 weeks: a cold aggravated by allergies that kicked a Crohn's episode into high gear. Over the last 2 weeks, I have been in the bathroom a lot. Most of my time was spent in and out of there with generally a positive attitude. "This will pass in a few days." "You have been under a crap load of stress for months, more so in the last month. Blah, blah, blah." Whatever it took to keep from falling in and down the nasty self-pity spiral. I figure my immune system has taken a few extra punches in the last few weeks, but I will not take it lying down! Or curled in the fetal position on the bathroom floor. OK, while I was on the clear liquid diet, fighting a fever and internal bleeding again! (Fun!) I did lay low. It's not fun.
Paul is there making me veggie broth and plain noodles, making those famous midnight runs for 7Up and crackers and comforting me as much as he can. Sometimes the spasms get so bad they leave me wracked with pain. Even the slightest, most loving touch can cause excruciating pain. It makes loved ones often feel helpless, just watching and waiting. How many times have I awakened to Paul or Mom lurking, watching me sleep? They crack me up.
As anyone who has known me through the thick and the thin (97 lbs!!), I'll puke anywhere. I won't bother to slow down or pull over anymore. Just reach into the glove box for one of my pilfered airplane barf bags… OK, that may have been more than most can handle. (But those of you who have been at my side though the nastiness of CD, I thank you!) Moving on…
This time around I refused to go to the hospital. I don't see why I need to take up valuable space, when all they can do for me is drug and monitor me. Well, there are those vampire lab techs coming to steal my blood every 6 hours… Yeah, I'll pass on that. I have all the same medications at home, my own pillow and blanky, too.
Next month I am doing the 2 mile Take Steps for Crohn's and Colitis charity walk. I chuckle every time I think we, Crohn's patients, can't go more than 2 miles without a bathroom. I will not be going it alone on the Crohn's walk, either. My friend of 25 years, Laurie, is strutting her stuff with me. Mom is also joining in on the fun. Hell, we might even take the dogs. This fundraiser is small, like the walk. I have promised to raise $250, $130 over the national average. I can do it with the help, support and love of my friends and family.

Welcome to my story time!

The year 2008 marks my second year with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and the Nike Women's Marathon. I ran, but mostly walked in 2007. This year, I am running it! I cannot wait to blaze that trail.

This is my story...